Spoons and writing
Mar. 8th, 2011 11:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kyrias I just need a quick rant before I finally buckle down and start writing tonight.
I've been putting writing off all day even though we ordered takeout and I didn't really have any cleaning or chores to do. I feel terrible about it, but this latest chapter is just a doozy.
Partially, my extreme lack of spoons is because Caesura was talking about his calculus class and how he might have to drop it because he's doing so poorly in it. Note, not all or even most of this is his fault, which to a certain extent is frustrating because no one likes to be poleaxed like that from behind by life.
Chapter 11 went live yesterday and I think I'm 3 or 4 chapters from the end. If I were a worse writer, I'd just scramble to finish and to hells with it all. Unfortunately, I'm not comfortable with leaving this for later and I always end up writing more than I intended when I just leave a snippet to hold place until I get back to it.
So. Why is chapter 12 killing my spoons?
Chapter 12 is where Estyria gets into a vicious debate about whether or not women should be allowed to participate in commerce and politics with the hidebound lords. I've been doing a wee bit of research on the arguments used against letting women vote, be in the military, and get educated.
I don't know why, but reading those words is killing my spoons left and right and the mere thought of having to get into character to write with the voice of some bigoted men who want nothing more than to keep women in bed with their legs perpetually spread and their feet bound for good measure --- is making me want to throw the entire story away.
I've been staring at the cursor for hours now and it's not going anywhere.
Right.
Rant over.
Even if I just write 50 words today, that's something.
I've been putting writing off all day even though we ordered takeout and I didn't really have any cleaning or chores to do. I feel terrible about it, but this latest chapter is just a doozy.
Partially, my extreme lack of spoons is because Caesura was talking about his calculus class and how he might have to drop it because he's doing so poorly in it. Note, not all or even most of this is his fault, which to a certain extent is frustrating because no one likes to be poleaxed like that from behind by life.
Chapter 11 went live yesterday and I think I'm 3 or 4 chapters from the end. If I were a worse writer, I'd just scramble to finish and to hells with it all. Unfortunately, I'm not comfortable with leaving this for later and I always end up writing more than I intended when I just leave a snippet to hold place until I get back to it.
So. Why is chapter 12 killing my spoons?
Chapter 12 is where Estyria gets into a vicious debate about whether or not women should be allowed to participate in commerce and politics with the hidebound lords. I've been doing a wee bit of research on the arguments used against letting women vote, be in the military, and get educated.
I don't know why, but reading those words is killing my spoons left and right and the mere thought of having to get into character to write with the voice of some bigoted men who want nothing more than to keep women in bed with their legs perpetually spread and their feet bound for good measure --- is making me want to throw the entire story away.
I've been staring at the cursor for hours now and it's not going anywhere.
Right.
Rant over.
Even if I just write 50 words today, that's something.
